TEN
PROPOSED NEW LAWS FOR THIS CRISIS
From an Indymedia open webcast, 9/20/2001
1.
To buy an American flag, you must present proof you have voted at least once
in the last three elections (yes, local and state elections count).
2.
To display an American flag in any form, you must present proof of voter
registration.
3.
To wave an American flag in public, you must be able to name at least one of
the following:
A.
Your Senator
B. Your Representative
C. Your President ("George Bush" does not count; ambiguous.)
4.
To sell any product with an American flag on it, you must answer the following
question.
The Bill of Rights is part of:
The
Constitution
The
Magna Carta
The Declaration of Independence.
5.
Those heard singing patriotic songs in public may be asked to show their voter
registration cards.
6.
To be permitted to scream "Nuke Afghanistan," you must be able to
correctly locate Afghanistan on a map or globe.
7.
To be permitted to scream "Arabs go home," you must list and
correctly locate ten Arab homelands.
8.
Those who wish to express opinions about Arabs and Arab-Americans must pass
the following test.
A.
Those who follow the religion of Islam are called:
Moslems
Muslins
Fanatics
B.
The holy book of Islam is called:
The Koran
The Koram
The Bible
C.
In Arabic, God is called:
Ali
Allah
Jehovah
9.
Priority for purchase of American flags will be given to those whose ancestors
lived on American soil the longest. When all American Indians who wish to
display the red, white, and blue are satisfied, other applicants will be
accepted.
10.
A call for war on any radio talk-show will be construed as a public
declaration of willingness to enlist in the US Army; callers will have 24
hours to complete the paperwork.